Starting a conversation about a sensitive topic

(Image caption: Illustration by Lucy Knisley, showing three young people. One is covering their eyes, one is covering their mouth, and one is covering their ears).

I'm sure there will be more than a few people out there that could never imagine talking about their body to complete strangers. Lucky for you, dear reader, I am not one of those people. 

When starting the process for my breast reduction, I felt no reason to keep it a secret. I'm not out there screaming it at people in the street, but I have no qualms at all about discussing it. Regardless, people were going to notice that I used to have gigantic breasts and now had small ones, so secrecy was not really going to work out.

Back in January I met with a reporter from a local newspaper, to see if there would be any interest in running a story on my breast reduction. My reasons for doing this were 1) to raise awareness about the lack of funding available, and 2) to see if I could raise any money for myself. (Yes I'm aware that sounds selfish, but how many people have £6,000 spare in case they need to have a private surgery?)

The editor agreed to run the story, and so I submitted a rather lengthy article about my personal experience, and desire to go ahead with a breast reduction. And then...I waited. Every week I followed up with the reporter, and the story would be delayed for some reason or other. Finally, today, my 34th birthday, I have been told that the story is running tomorrow!

I'm hopeful that people will react positively to my story, and that it might inspire other people who are wanting to have something done to go ahead with it. People tend to wait for the right time to do things, but often there is no right time. I should have gone ahead with this years ago, but I still have many years ahead of me (I hope) to enjoy the results of this surgery, and to experience an improved quality of life. We get used to living with niggles, and things about our body that we don't enjoy, but just put up with. I'm not going to do that anymore.

Of course, there might be people out there who react badly to the article. People who think I'm vain, or take offence at the idea that I'm asking for charity. No detractors are going to stop me from living my best life, and to them I say "I may be vain, but I have great breasts."

Why crowdfunding?

(image caption: coloured circles containing cartoon faces and mobile phones, illustrating how people are connected. A megaphone dominates the left side of the image.).

Crowdfunding is something that has come in to our lives more and more in the last few years. People use to to launch businesses, products, sell their art, and to raise money for all kind of charities and charitable causes.

For me, Crowdfunding is about expanding my options. Chances are, I'm not going to raise much money for my surgery, and I fully accept that. I don't know a lot of people, the campaign hasn't been widely shared, and it pales in comparison to much more worthy causes out there. 

But, by setting it up, I'm giving it a chance. I'm reaching out to friends, family, and strangers, and giving them the option to support me if anything about my story resonates with them. It also allows people to be anonymous if they feel uncomfortable giving money.

Like so many people out there, I'm forced to spend my own money to have a life-changing medical procedure, and so by promoting my campaign, even if I don't raise money, I hope to raise awareness of how little is available to people through their public health services. Maybe it can start a bigger conversation.

If you would like to donate to my campaign, just click the link below. 

Donate to my campaign

The consultation

(image caption: a comic book picture. A person with very large breasts says to a doctor "They tell me I have pretty feet and I'd like to see them.")

It took a long time for me to get to the point of choosing a surgeon, and even then I put off actually having a consultation for months. I had emailed the surgery and had been informed of the price, and that it would need to be paid up front, and I had to seriously consider if now was the right time to be dropping that sort of cash. What about my wedding? the honeymoon? a deposit on a property? Any money that I spent on myself, was money that I was taking away from my partner to be spent on us as a couple.

Finally I had decided to just make the appointment, and then if I didn't want to go through with it, at least I would know whether or not I was a suitable candidate, and have the chance to answer any questions.

On the 15th January my partner and I made our way to the Lido Medical clinic, to meet with surgeon Dr Stephenson. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I had prepared a speech in case he turned me down on the grounds of being overweight. Yes I am large around the belly, but I was also attending the appointment inbetween evening pantomime shows, where I sang and danced after doing a regular job in the day. I was determined to prove that I was in excellent shape, fit enough to go under the knife.

My weight has been a struggle in recent years, as I have battled endometriosis, and my mobility has decreased naturally due to my congenital physical disability (bi-lateral hip dysplasia), and at this point, with my breasts as heavy as they are, and literally crushing my lungs, it's certainly not easy to lose fat. However, there is plenty of research out there showing that people who have breast reductions find that afterwards they find their mobility so much increased that they start losing weight.

BUT, I must stress, this surgery was not, and is not, about regular weight loss. Sure, if I lose some fat I'll be happy about it, but this surgery is about all-round quality of life.

Whilst there, Dr Stephenson checked my breasts for any lumps, and I am relieved to say he found none. I haven't always been great at checking my breasts, because I dislike them so much to the point where I just try to ignore them.

We talked about my ideal cup size, and I said that I would like to go down to a C, and he talked about the actual surgery itself, and what it would entail. I was advised that there would be a lot of scarring, however it would fade over time. My partner also had a few questions to ask.

In the end, I didn't need to give my speech about being fit whilst fat, though I did mention it. As the meeting drew to a close, Dr Stephenson simply asked when I would like to go ahead. I hadn't really thought that far. Somewhere between now, and long enough to get my finances in order. I said March, and he said that the 7th of March was free. I said let's do it.

Choosing a surgeon

(photo caption: a headless photo of a person in a doctor's white outfit, wearing a stethoscope, with arms crossed in front of their chest).

I can't exactly pinpoint the day when I decided that the time was now, and that I was going to go ahead with the surgery. I had started to organise my wedding dress in 2019 (for 2021), and that was definitely a big factor. I had picked the design and the dressmaker, and I started to really think about how I would feel on the day wearing it. How I would do my hair, my makeup, and how it would feel walking down the aisle.

Now, I'm not a thin person. For much of my life I have been both thin and active, but I was born with a disability that has made my mobility increasingly limited, especially since entering my 30's, and then I was also unfortunate enough to develop an incurable condition called endometriosis. So, when picturing walking down the aisle, I was already at peace with the idea that I was, and am, going to be a bigger bride than the ones you see in all the magazines, and that's totally fine. My body still rocks. But in examining all of that, I understood that there was one part of me that I was completely unable to make peace with, and that was the size of my breasts.

To some of you reading this, that might sound stupid, ridiculous, whiny, whatever. If so, you don't get me, or my journey, so you might as well not read any more of this blog! To me, it was a big sign that something needed to change.

It's not just about how I'm going to feel on that wedding day, that day just happens to represent one of many phases of my life, and a new part of my life journey. The bigger picture is, how would I feel ten, twenty, thirty years down the line if I never got the surgery? I'm 100% sure that I would regret it.

Living in the Channel Islands, I may have more or less choice than where you, the reader lives, but overall I consider my choices to be very limited.

1) There was no option for me to get this surgery paid for by my health provider (the government). They do offer some breast reduction surgeries, but the criteria is so narrow that there was no way I would have been accepted as a candidate.

2) Living on a small island means that there is generally less access to health professionals.

3) I did not want to travel to have the surgery. This was a big deal for me. The idea of having a surgery and then getting on a flight to come home was just unbearable. And what about the aftercare? Would it be as good? It just felt too frightening.

So, after reviewing the surgeons available, it became apparent that there was in fact only one suitable surgeon. They are highly recommended, local, and they perform the surgery in the local hospital. The downside is they require full payment (around £6,000) in full before the surgery. Although I intend to take out the necessary loan to pay for this, it is a large amount of money, and that is why I am crowdfunding to see if any kind souls out there have a few spare pennies. Yes, I know, there are more worthy causes.

If you should have any spare pennies, please click the link below:

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/lisasweddingbreasts/

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/lisasweddingbreasts/

If you would like to know more about the surgeon that I have selected, you can find them at the link below. I found Dr Stephenson to be completely understanding and sympathetic, and I have full confidence that he is going to give me a good outcome. (If he doesn't, I'll rant here about it post-surgery.)

https://www.jerseysurgery.co.uk/